[The next few posts have been sitting in my draft box for far too long so I figured I should post them. As a disclaimer, they are all unfinished and unillustrated...SORRRRYYY!]
Ok so I introduced Butthead and already he hasn’t made the best impression. Or maybe it’s that I haven’t painted him as the best character. Well, let’s assess some stories in depth and you can be the judge.
***SHORT STORY #1
WHAT TIME IS IT?
Upon arriving in the lovely city of Paris, we all chose or were placed with a roommate. As you know already, Beavis & Butthead were paired and quite the pairing they were. So Butthead arrives early and has the only key to the apartment. He wanders aimlessly about town; we later learn that this is the norm. However, on the very day that Beavis is arriving, his only instructions were to meet at the apartment at Noon – promptly. Noon rolls around, no sign of him. 1 rolls around, nowhere in sight. So Beavis is forced to go clear across town to our instructors’ apartment and try to figure out what to do. About 4 hrs later, they figure, he has to come back home at some point so they head back. They wait, and they wait and they wait. Around 6pm, he shows up like nothing had happened, like he had met them at the exact time agreed upon. Now, I wasn’t there so the dialogue to follow is from partial information and is the only way that I could possibly have imagined it to have gone.
Pepe: “where were you?”
Butthead: “what? What do you mean?”
P: “you were supposed to be here at 12”
B: [looks at watch] “but it is noon”
P: “no, you are crazy. It’s 6pm”
B: [look of confusion] “….oh….I didn’t know. I thought my watch would change automatically”
Let’s analyze this for a moment. In order to do this, let’s have a little lesson on timezones. Due to the fact that the earth is not flat and the sun cannot possibly encompass the entire earth at once, there are these things called Time Zones – amazing…brilliant…genius. Ok now, let’s figure out what time zone Detroit is…according to the map, it’s Eastern. Ok, now, let’s figure out what Paris is…oh wait wait – nope, thought it was in the same time zone but it’s not.
Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he knew that there was a 6 hour time difference. But let’s take a look at his watch. A watch that, after careful examination, is about 10-12 links too large for his wrist. Look closer and you’ll also realize that this watch is analog and NOT digital. What am I getting at? This kid thinks that his analog, NOT digital, watch would change itself…oy vey. Also – can I also bring up the fact that the sun is NOTICEABLY lower in the sky at 6pm…can I?
***SHORT STORY #2
IT’S JUST A BAG
This won’t be long at all. Hence, the SHORT story title. It’s more or less a description of personal belongings. Some people in the class carry a large camera and therefore facilitate the need of a large carrying device such as a bag, a purse, a backpack, etc. I am one of those people. I’ll admit, my bag is excessively large and really doesn’t need to be – but I digress. This kid carries a backpack to every location.
What kind of camera does he have, you ask?
Good question – a Nikon point and shoot.
Does he carry said camera in this backpack?
You would think he would but he actually carries it in his cargo shorts.
Well then what does he carry in that bag?
I’ve only ever seen him get a small 4x8 sketchbook out of it.
That can’t be true, he has to carry other things.
Well, there could be a bomb in there.
We have this theory. He’s a very angry person but we didn’t find that out til after this theory was….theorized. If you’ve ever heard the Dane Cook skit about the awkward guy in the office that is so angry that he loses it and does the unthinkable, then you know the theory. Give him a Snickers bar and you’re good to go. Always be nice to the crazy dude because you don’t know where your name lies on his list.
Without thinking, Worthington asks the following:
Worthington: [Toggles bag playfully] “dude, why do you carry that backpack? What’s in there?”
Butthead: [Overcome with anger, like a mother protecting her young, blood vessels bursting, jaw clenching] he replies, “It’s – JUST – A – BAG.”
Give
Him
A
Snickers
Bar
And back
Away
Slowly…
***SHORT STORY #3
DID SOMEONE TURN THE LIGHTS OUT?
As previously mentioned, peeing in Europe is not as easy or as free as it is here in the US. During a long walk on one of our daily tours, we decided, as we frequently did, to sit at a cafe and rest. Many of us had to use the facilities and this particular facility required the purchase of an item, AND a coin for the operation of the door. In order to cheat, we all kind of propped the unlocked door open for the next person to go until everyone had their turn. Now, the order of the line went as follows: Haley, Nicole, Butthead, me. Now, I KNOW for a fact that the bathrooms are disgusting but I also know for a fact that neither Haley, nor Nicole treated the toilet like they would the ground of a campsite. By this I mean, I KNOW they didn't pee all about and around the toilet before leaving it to the next person. Butthead on the otherhand...let's just say...when I was next - it looked like someone had pee'd with the lights out and decided, "I'm going to spray the walls and the floor and my shoes and the toilet paper" OR it may have been that he was in a hurry, really had to go and pee'd as fast as he could, without looking because someone was about to leave without him...The stall was plastered with piss...plastered...
***SHORT STORY #4
EVERYBODY DANCE NOW
There's not much to say. We went out in the streets of Marseilles. People were dancing. We were all dancing. We saw locals dancing. We saw tourists dancing. We saw Children dancing. We saw Butthead dancing...it can only be described as...well, it can't be described. It is best "described" with this simple, photo.
** *LAST STORY
Canonbaaaaallllllllll
Where to begin…One lovely day, on the Coast of Frioule, an island off Marseille, the class spends a day on the beach. Some of us decide to stick together while others decided to venture off in smaller groups. There was the group of instructors and partners, the all girl group, the all guy group and then there were Beavis & Butthead (oh and the Twins – see? They disappear!). Along the coast of this island, there are smaller and more private beaches. Our instructors decided to set up camp on this nice cove that opens up to cliffs suitable for jumping off of and what have you. Remember that the instructors are in their own group at this point. Also remember that this story is not a first hand experience so it’s my interpretation of a story told to me. Back to the story – one of the instructors sees a fiery redhead and a curly haired fellow across the way, on the cliffs mentioned earlier. Before I go any further, I feel that it is necessary to point out the fact that Beavis has Cerebral Palsy. I also feel it is necessary to point out that it is EXTREMELY obvious that she has this disability and that we all, or at least, I thought that everyone was in the know. Ok, back to the story, the instructors see Beavis prepping to jump. She jumps. Butthead does not follow – he is at the top of the cliff recording this act on his Nikon point and shoot. They see him continue to record but ALSO…ALSO throw his shoes AT her. The instructors are worried. One of the guest instructors is a former lifeguard and informs other instructor that Beavis is swimming awkwardly. They decide to swim out and see if all is well.
They reach her.
“[Beavis], are you ok?”
“no…I’m tired” she says as she begins to fall backwards and sink.
Former lifeguard to the rescue.
Instructor later takes Butthead aside and tells him that Beavis cannot do those things.
“We can’t follow you around the island. You’re responsible for making sure she is safe. You don’t know how a person with CP will react in a situation like that.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“She has Cerebral Palsy. It’s a disability.”
“…oh…I didn’t know…”
I mean really… REALLY?!? The only excuse that he could have in not knowing about her disability is if he was blind and deaf and in a paraplegic comatose state and in fact, not on the trip at all. That is the only way you could NOT know that she had a disorder.
There you have it; these are a collection of the many stories that I feel, capture Butthead in all his essence. Don’t make any snap judgments, just make your own analysis of this character.
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