QOD 2

Jersey Love

So...I'm dating a new guy and he's a sweetheart. He seems too good to be true. He's very emotional (I'm a magnet for those guys I swear) he tells me sweet things all the time, granted some of those highly emotional statements scare me a bit but I can deal and see where the relationship goes.

I just had to blog about this one thing that threw me for a loop. He asked me over to his place after a night out on the town with him and I reluctantly agreed--I am not that kind of girl I assure you so I don't need that kind of pressure in the beginning of a relationship. We get in the door and I assume he's just going to pounce on me, when in fact he tells me to close my eyes as he gets the surprise. One part of my brain thinks "Ooh maybe it's jewelry, roses, etc." and the other part says, "You don't know him that well, prepare to be on an episode of Nancy Grace." I clasp my hands nervously in front of me and do as instructed, closing my eyes tightly and praying to whatever god is up there for protection. He tells me to open them and I see a orange football/sports jersey presented in front of my with his name embroidered on the back. I say thank you and do the typical "Awwww" thing we girls do and try to figure out why he would assume I'd be so lonely that I would need a piece of sporting equiptment to keep me company when he is not with me.

After the surprise portion is over on this date, he walks me to my car and says goodnight. As I drive home I realize that the jersey is doused in his cologne. Ewww, I don't do the Pepe Le Peu cologne thing with men, it does not impress me. I manage to throw it in the back seat and kick on the air full blast. The next day it smelled my car up so badly I had to air it out and remove the poisonous sporting good from my car. I let the jersey get soaked in the rain for a while and then placed it on the back porch to air dry in the breeze.

Pepe Le Peu gained one strike against him that day, my car took days plural to recover. I will keep the boomerang followers posted on the next attack from the cologne bandit.

Peace and Fresh Air,
E Bandit

New Segment

The Boomerang Bandits would like to welcome a Guest Bandit who will be referred to as the M Bandit. She is also known as, "The Unicorn Slayer."  She's got a pocket full of pennies and always willing to throw her 2 cents at those in need.  Others describe her as a misanthropic philanthropist.  When she's not too busy slaying the one-horned beast, she makes time for her other hobbies such as Extreme Walking, Whale Watching, Mountain Drawing, Underwater Basket Weaving, Bull Riding, Wii Skiing & iTetris.  Without further ado, we present to you, a new segment we like to call,
"M Bandit's Question of the Day"

Meet the Little Black Raincloud

Ladies and gents, we'd like to introduce you to the Little Black Raincloud. Both E & I worked with her at the G Development Company & she is exactly as you would imagine a person to be when you associate someone with a gloomy black raincloud of depression. Now, I will admit, I (C Bandit) am pretty pessimistic, so I never thought I would meet someone who takes the cake for gloom and doom. It seems I've met my match.  Game, set, match.  She doesn't play devil's advocate, she IS the devil's advocate. Tell her you've just purchased a house and she will tell you that you not only got ripped off, but also that it will be IMPOSSIBLE to resell in this economy - buying is financial suicide. Tell her you're going to grad school to further your education and she'll tell you you're wasting your money and time. A Master's Degree is as good as a GED these days.  She was the "Debbie Downer" of the G Development Company.

It's a Dance off!

No way

Segal Energy Drink

Lookout Criminals!

He says it himself, "this is not a joke"

Forgive me Father for I have sinned...

It's been 11 days since my last post...

I'll blame Thanksgiving, Black Friday & Cyber Monday for this. I'm working on a few stories but I just thought of one that I must post before 11pm tonight. Reason? I bought a Mega Million ticket y'all! This is sort of a written notification for you readers before I hit it big and since I have but a few eggs left, I've chosen to put most of my eggs in this basket. I know it's a little unorthodox for a person like me to win the lottery. And by me, I mean not a deadbeat. Just kidding. I don't want to upset the Lottery Gods or offend previous winners. To any naysayers out there who think I'm wasting my time, I've got nothing to lose but the $5 I paid to buy a chance at winning millions.  I'll take my chances and pray for luck.  I have a better chance at marrying Justin Timberlake than I do winning the lottery but people DO win.  You can't win if you don't try.  I've been buying tickets fairly consistently these days and I've noticed that I am no longer asked for an ID. The day has come, I have graduated to No Longer Looking Like a Teenager!! Now, if I can just graduate to No Longer Looking Like I'm under 21, I'll be set! FYI - I'm 24, but if you count the years I used a fake ID, I've been of drinking age for over 5 yrs.

***Back to the Lottery Ticket***
I normally don't like to get my hopes up but a girl can dream...I often daydream/contemplate/plan what I would do should I win the big bucks. It's a dangerous game because 99 times out of 99, you'll lose and if you don't take too well to let downs...my suggestion is to not play the lottery. So here's my plan in the event of a win (hopefully tonight!)

First order of business, pay off my massive, overwhelming, colossal, gargantuan student loan debt. Okay, okay, so it's not as large as that of a future doctor or lawyer but for the profession and the future compensation of said profession, it's ginormous. [Side note - Ginormous is actually a word, I just looked it up on Dictionary.com. You learn something everyday.]

Second order of business, pay off my immediate family's debts and mortgages. Key emphasis on IMMEDIATE should this post be legally binding in the court of law. I don't want any hoodlums contacting me and claiming they're my long lost brotha from another motha - that aint gonna fly.

Third, and most importantly, in my opinion, I will fly my immediate family to somewhere tropical and incredibly warm. As we enjoy this vacation, we will also discuss the percentage divisions of the remaining winnings. I will expect that most of the monies will be invested into college funds and retirement plans but I should also expect that it will also be used on luxuries. I believe that if you have money, you should be able to enjoy it. Maserati for every day of the week? Don't mind if I do! Vacation homes around the world? Sure, why not! Pay off some bills? If I must. Give some to friends? If they're lucky.

Ok so, this is as far as I have planned. If I plan any longer or more extensively, my efforts will likely have been wasted.

In the immediate future, if the Gods of Lottery would be so kind, I could use a little help with my Christmas budget!

I'm off to chant a few chants, light a few candles and dance the chicken dance - anything that will increase my odds of winning! Wish me luck!