Olympic Gold

I've never really been a huge fan of the Olympics - Summer or Winter.  I vaguely remember watching them as a child, but I don't think I invested more than an hour to watching them.  Although, I do recall being partial to the figure skating back when good ol' Scott Hamilton, Bryan Boitano and Kristi Yamaguchi were wowing the world with their triple axels and their back flips.  My active duty as an American to watch the games thereafter, however, dropped off over the years to a shameful zero hours of logged viewing time.

There's something different about the 2008 Summer Olympics and the 2010 Winter Olympics though.  I have a theory - I think the Olympic Committee had a global pow-wow and decided they needed to get good looking athletes in order to draw in more viewers.  This is the only conclusion I've come up with.  I mean, can you think of a better explanation??  The ratings for the games have gone through the roof.  It could be because they've been playing nonstop Olympic coverage on NBC, CNBC, MSNBC and even on the USA Network.  They pretty much force you to watch the games much like they force you to watch coverage of the Presidential Address as they hijack everything from NBC to QVC.

But never have I ever watched as much curling as I have these past two weeks.  As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever, in my 24 years of life, watched a round...or game...or match?  of curling.  And guess what - it's kind of amazing.  Curling puts Ice Dancing to shame.  It's like a combination of bocce ball and darts on ice (with brooms).  I never really thought I would find myself gasping in astonishment as I watch a game of curling but I did last night when I watched the Canadian women lose to Sweden.  That was intense!  Not quite as intense as watching 80 yr. old Brett Favre throw his shot at the Superbowl away in the game of his lifetime, but nevertheless, it was an intense match.  Now, I don't really know anything about the rules of the game but in my opinion, the men play with a lot more strategy than the women do and therefore, it is more interesting to watch the men's curling.  Let's not forget about my theory of good looking athletes.  Check it out the curlers:

Other Sports:

Looking at this fine panel of athletes I say, not bad, not bad at all.  We should have the Olympics more often.  Am I right, am I right?  Searching on the NBC Olympic site for athletes to put in this post felt like I was searching through Match.com candidates.  More importantly, I have discovered that all of these men that I have selected have their hair styled very similarly...is that odd?

Anyways, I guess the moral of the story is to say that there's a lot more to the Winter Olympics than one would think.  Skill, Speed, and Experience aside, there are a lot of good lookin' athletes underneath those layers of lycra.

THISSSS....is AmERiCAN Idol.

Ok so if I don't know if I've addressed it yet but I'm very much against reality shows.  The "Real" World, The Hills, Jersey Shore, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, The Kardashians, yada yada yada, you name it, chances are, I do everything in my power to avoid watching or hearing about these, so-called, reality shows.  I don't understand, after all these years, why society is so fascinated by most of these shows.  HOWEVER, I'm a bit of a hypocrite in that I have made some exceptions and allowed some reality-esque shows to seep into my list of DVR'd shows.  And the shows are as follows: 

• Man vs. Wild  I'm actually not sure if this is considered a reality show because it's not what comes to mind when you think of a reality show right?  But it's not scripted...so I'm going to call it a reality show.  Who wouldn't want to watch Bear Grylls eat nasty things, climb down a gushing waterfall and carve out the innards of a rotting camel for shelter?!?  I'm going to be SO prepared if ever I find myself stranded in the Sahara.

• Bizarre Foods Again, virtually unscripted and borderline-reality depending on your definition of a reality show.  And again, watching a man eat nasty things that most of the world wouldn't dare touch is just amusing.  I'm an oddly queasy person and often happen to be watching this show as I am eating but I still enjoy it.  That man really likes ears...it's a little disturbing. 

• Project Runway I have my Winter in Orlando to thank for hooking me.  One incredibly boring weekend and a chance channel flip to Bravo landed me on a PR Marathon of the century.  It had to be a good 20-hour marathon (if not longer) and I didn't miss a minute of it.  If I had a dollar for every time a male designer cried on that show, I would be rich!

• American Idol I have to admit, I used to hate AI for the shear fact that it was a reality show but, after years of having it on in the background whilst pretending to study and having it on my trusty DVR, I can attribute this newly found addiction to my old roommate.  Thanks.  I've technically only seen one entire season which was last season.  I'm working on season numero 2 which is really season number 9...I have to say, the auditions are amazingly entertaining.  But with Simon gone next season, I'm almost positive this show is done for.  In the meantime though, I'm actually watching the first results show as I type this post and I have to add that the group sing-along songs that they do to kill time are hilarious and cheesy.  I'm not really that impressed with the first round of performances but since it makes my stomach turn just thinking about performing in general, I have to hand it to them, some of them can really belt one out.  With that said, I thought I would try a little predictory and name my fav and non-fav contestants.

GIRLS

 Crystal Bowersox - very talented instrumentally and vocally.

Hayley Vaughn - very annoying - got to go.

GUYS

Andrew Garcia - I youtube'd his Straight Up rendition and I'm a huge fan of his funky remixes.  

Also, I can't help but notice his neck tatt - very classy.

Tyler Grady - I don't know what it is about this guy but he bugs me. 

[and...poo...before I finished this post, he was kicked off.]

So, there you have it.  These are my predictions and so far one has already come true.  The top guy and top girl though...it's going to be a tight race because I like them both equally.  I'm gonna pull for both of them until I lose a player.  Although it's still too early in the game to name a winner.

Fare thee well...

If you're Catholic, you're aware of the fact that Lent is upon us.  For those of you who aren't Catholic, shame shame and "Hey, guess what?  Lent is upon us."  Lent is a time for penitence, fasting, and sorrow.  (I did have to look that up...)  For 40 days (and 40 nights), we are asked to give up something that we do often and find pleasure in.  For example, giving up fast food.  I really don't think it's fair to give up something that is easy to give up - you're not tricking god...he is all knowing.  Every year, I tend to give up more than one thing because I have a lot of bad habits that I'd like to kick to the curb.  Let's get started.

1. You may have read about my abusive relationship with FaceHook and our painful breakup.  As you may have guessed, I've gone back him.  I let him lure me back in with his old tricks.  I see him many times a day out of boredom.  I am annoyed with him in every way, shape and form but yet I can't bring myself to leave his ass.  Well, lucky for me, I can use the trusty Lenten Season as an excuse to drop him.  Sorry FaceHook, it's been real.
   
   
2. Pop (otherwise known as Soda).  I can't deny it - I love pop.  An ice cold glass of Dr. Pepper is my kryptonite.  The way it burns when you drink it.  The fact that it's so dark that it cannot be good for you.  Hey, it was once used for medicinal purposes so it can't be that bad can it?  Anyways, it's not going to be easy.  I won't doubt that I'll go into convulsions in the middle of the night screaming for a glass of the DP...but I can do it...I can.
   
   
3. Candy...I think I'll miss you the most.  I'm an impulse buyer so when they put candy near the cash register, and I'm waiting in line at Target to purchase my usual basket of frivolous items like Beef Jerky, socks, and sharpies, Ima definitely add a king size Twix in the mix.  I don't think that giving up candy would be nearly as difficult if they didn't sell candy everywhere you look.  Gumball machines at the Dentist's office, Rack-o-candy at your local Pretty Beauty Nail Salon, candy aisle at Burlington Coat Factory...I mean, give me a break!  America, this is why we're fat!
   
   

So there you have it.  These are the 3 things that I've decided to give up for Lent 2010!  I must tell you though, I didn't think about it all by myself.  I kind of stole the idea to give up FaceHook when I went on FH today and someone else decided to do the same.  Genius I say.  

Now, Lent doesn't officially start until this Wednesday so, I'm going to gorge on Raisinetes, Milk Duds, Twix bars, Twizzlers and Charleston Chews whilst refreshing FaceHook every 2 mins. for the next 28hrs AND chugging 2 liter bottles (plural) of Dr. Pepper and A&W Creme Soda.  Check y'all later.

P.S.  I know what you're all thinking and that is that the cartoons included in this post are pointless and I could've just as easily gone on google images and snatched real images.  HOWEVER, I just got a new toy and I wanted to test it out.  Meet Mr. Bamboo.  Jealous?  Thought so.

Untitled Doodle

And the Award goes to...

In the midst of Hollywood Award Season, I can't help but favor the Grammys.  Sure the Golden Globes are okay.  The Academy Awards are entertaining.  But The Grammys take the cake.  It's a fun-loving, rockin' good time.  I watched the 2+hr show and I can honestly only remember maybe 5 awards given.  With an Award to Performance ratio of 1 to 5, you'd be crazy if you didn't watch it.  They know what the people want and what the people want are performances.  As I sat and watched said award show, I was envious of the audience.  I would kill to be in the sweaty-pit-screaming-teen-mosh pit.  So I got to thinkin', How does one score a ticket to THE Grammys?  First of all, I am clearly not the first person to Google the question.  Secondly, there's a section on the Grammy site dedicated to answering such inquiries and they were not the answers I wanted to hear.  However, my fellow bandit and I have devised a fool-proof plan:     

Grammys 2011

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A few days late but I’m watching the Grammys.  You’re right, the performances are crazy!  It’s more concert than an award show.  Let’s go next year!
               
 



Ok, how do we make that happen?
 


Probably going to have to sleep with a famous persons assistant…and since you’re married, I’ll take one for the team. 
                We can at least make sure it’s a COOL famous person’s assistant.
Definitely.  It says you have to be an associate or a voting member of the academy in order to buy tickets.  WTF?!?  In other words, it’s invitation only…
                How do we become voting members?
Hahaha I’m reading the qualifications and it’s not looking good…unless we can crank out a platinum album by November, not even a signed note from God would help us.  So…let’s get recording!
                What’s our genre?
I’m thinking we could create a new genre: hip-jazz-hop-pop
                Can you sing?  Because I can’t…might need to synthesize it.
I think we can pull a Milli-Vanilli.  How do you feel about that?
                I’m down.  When can we get studio time?
Let's make our own.  Egg cartons and Roxio Music Creator is all we need yo.
                Let's do it.
It’s a pretty elaborate scheme to get a ticket to the Grammys but it might be crazy enough to work.
                I can do a mean beat box.
Aww shit – all we need is a dancer and a singer and we have triple threat power!  I’m pretty sure I was a wizard on the ol’ triangle.  It’s all starting to come together.
                MORE COWBELL!!!  I know someone who can sing and play the guitar!
Yeah!  He can be the front-man and we can be the Doo Wop girls snapping our fingers and swaying in the background pretending to sing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best idea ever.

Negative People Need Not Apply

Negative people need not apply to enter my life. Positivity has been proven to increase health, happiness, and quality of life. Having read so many articles on the importance of staying positive and keeping your vibrational frequencies high, I have chosen not to surround myself with negative people.

You know those people where nothing in the world can be right or good? Those people can stay on their own side of life and not encroach into mine. I have drawn the imaginary line in the sand and my side is full of peace signs, smiles, and glitter...the other side isn't so pretty.

Having prefaced with the above information, now I begin my tale of Negative Nancy.

Meet Nancy, she is never happy, nothing particularly horrible has ever happened to her, however, she is just all around miserable. Nancy has a good job, a clean and safe home, and a reliable car. Not to mention a family that cares about her. By my standards she is a very blessed woman. In Nancy's mind she is not.

Nancy sleeps in because she is depressed, wakes up late with a frown, and begrudgingly gets ready for work. As she progresses through her day she rarely smiles unless it is at the cost of others, which is her favorite hobby. She teases the unique, she teases the unfortunate, and she teases the blissfully happy because she cannot obtain that level of contentment. She shuffles through the day making her co-workers miserable, by now, most of them simply ignore her and exclude her as she is now called the little black raincloud of the office. At the end of her day she retires to her angry cave and focuses not on how to improve her life, but instead she dwells on her unhappiness. Woe is me is her mantra, and boy is she good at living it down.

My advice for Negative Nancy is to repose in the immediate as if it were infinity. Enjoy every breath, every day, and every person you meet who changes your path in life.

As I close I will leave all you blog followers with a lovely poem/mantra to have...

Now we are ready to look at something pretty special.
It is a duck riding the ocean a hundred feet beyond the surf,
And he cuddles in the swells.
There is a big heaving in the Atlantic.
And he is part of it.
He can rest while the Atlantic heaves, because he rests in the Atlantic.
Probably he doesn’t know how large the ocean is.
And neither do you.
But he realizes it.
And what does he do, I ask you.
He sits down in it.
He reposes in the immediate as if it were infinity – which it is.
That is religion, and the duck has it.
I like the little duck.
He doesn’t know much.
But he has religion.


~Peace and Positivity,~
~E-Bandit~