The next 2 months went by slowly and quickly at the same time. I will speak briefly about the class, as it was a minor part of this major experience. We had places to walk and walk and walk nearly every single day. We took photos and video and mental notes. Basically, we were getting a tour of Paris off the beaten path. It was very interesting. It was a great opportunity to learn how to use a professional camera. Also, I enjoyed making films – I spent very little time on the videos but, given the time, I think I could’ve created more polished videos.
We also went on satellite trips around France (and once to Switzerland). These trips were great. It was a breathe of fresh air. We went to Nantes, St. Lazare, Lyon, Marseille, Switzerland and Lille. My favorite was Marseille. I’m not really sure why I liked it. I mean, my biggest complaint about Paris was the fact that it was dirty with the piss and shit and the shit and the piss. Everything stationary, be it, a fence, a mailbox, a wall, a vehicle, a sleeping bum, these things were an invitation to piss. The sights were amazing though. You can't find another structure like the Eiffel Tower or Notre Dame. So back to Marseille, I loved it. I don’t know if I liked it because the weather was perfect or there was a beach, or because the food was much better or if it was because of the city-wide music festival. Anyhow, this is the last required satellite trip and, in the opinion of most of the class, we should’ve ended the trip at that point. It was a perfect cap on a great trip. But nay…nay. We did NOT end the class – we had a project to throw together and a film to produce before ending. That was not easy motivation-wise but we got it done and we’ll just leave it at that. Overall, the class was great. It was an interesting way to see France and I don't regret it for a minute.
Ok so, let’s introduce you to the characters on this trip. Let’s begin with the instructors.
(names have been changed for legal purposes – I’ll just rename them as I see fit).
MARCEL – young and hip instructor who wears Onitsuka Tiger shoes that I wanted to steal!
WIND – Enthusiastic instructor who can make a steamy pile of shit sound “wonderful & magical.” Sometimes plants seeds of False Hope in peoples heads about job prospects and such, as noted on several occasions. Pretty sure she didn't know my name - even near the end.
PEPE – Wind’s polar opposite husband. Brilliant Frenchman of few words. Used French sarcasm often but too many people had broken sarcasm radars so they believed his every word. Wears navy blue Chucks. My favorite instructor.
Collectively, these 3 people created a great course that neither felt like work, nor a 2 month guided tour of France. Kudos to them.
Ok, now the classmates. In no particular order except by roommate paring, here they are:
TWINS – (2) Korean girls that sort of disappeared and stayed low on the radar. I put them together because they were essentially 1 person. Giggled a lot. Talked to each other in Korean more.
WORTHINGTON – sloppy and preppy private school chap. Ran up walls and climbed things a lot. Likes to make everything into a seemingly intellectual but actually convoluted, unnecessarily long-winded and overly-wordy conversation.
JUSTIN – seems to let loose in other countries. Laughs a lot. Gets drunk surprisingly easily. Likes to dance. Harmless and also clumsy for a man. Enjoys Shy Ronnie & Clyde
CHEWBACCA – Hairy hairy man. Very stubborn and thinks he’s always right. Scavenger for food. Carries a man purse. Always “has a friend” who did something or went somewhere or has done EVERYTHING you could possibly think up. Climbed Everest backwards while wearing nothing but underwear, wool socks and a hunters cap with 3 sherpas and pet turtle in his cap? Yep – he has a friend who has done that.
HALEY – fun loving youngin’. Finds the good in people and the fun in everything. Eats a lot of fruit and drinks wine often. She’s the type that makes you laugh because she’s laughing and you don’t even have to know what made her laugh – it’s just funny. A good test audience for jokes and sarcastic banter.
NICOLE – easygoing; quiet at first but talkative after a while. Similar to Haley, she's fun-loving and finds the good in people. Also likes to dance.
SCARLETT – LOVES to dance. Very opinionated. Uses $10 words often. When I think of her, I think of the words "ephemeral" and "existential"...for no reason. A hipster who doesn’t like hipsters. Is a bucket of excuses and “always soooo busy” not doing anything. She hasn’t done anything because she was on her way to do something but she spilled coffee on her favorite blouse and as she was getting napkins out of the glove compartment her car broke down while simultaneously getting a two flat tires on her way to pick up her grandpa at the airport to go to the hospital to pick up her great Aunt to go to the cemetery to visit her cousin who died a few days ago. SO. Busy.
ROGER - very organized. talented photographer. Very determined and knows what he wants in life. But, if there’s one thing that he excels in more than anything else, it’s impersonations. He can NAIL an impression of anyone after a brief encounter and conversation. The situation doesn’t even have to happen but he can make you believe that the situation COULD very well happen. This is the comical mastermind from a previous post.
JASON – Spends little. Laughs lots. Can likely live long on very little. Seems to have fun wherever he goes and with whomever. Has had the same pair of flip flops since 1846 and is proud of it. If ever there were a person that could make you believe that he is the most carefree person in the world, this is the guy. Going to be late? We’ll make it. Don’t have a single clue where you’re going because you’ve never been there and have no map and no way of finding out? We’ll find it. Just got arrested for looking suspicious in the airport? It’ll work out. Can’t get a hold of anyone to bail you out because you have no phone and no phone numbers? They’ll get a hold of you.
BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD – I’d separate them but you can’t possibly separate them. They’re like the left over screws you find after you’ve put an appliance back together. If it works without them…you don’t really need them. Were initially outcasts but really hammered that home and made themselves the outcasts.
Beavis likes to drink a lot of soft drinks in class. Beavis also disrespectfully falls asleep in class and makes no attempt to pay attention or even pretend to pay attention. Beavis awkwardly and uninvitedly inserts oneself into private conversations. Beavis is impolite and sometimes clueless.
Butthead smells like butt…it’s a serious condition that he should have checked out. The smell has been described as a “rotting corpse.” It’s not over dramatized, if anything, it’s UNDERstated. Words cannot express the waive of illness that overthrows one upon smelling. It’s like a swift and unexpected punch to the jaw every time you catch a whiff. Butthead does not listen and, similar to Beavis, makes no attempt to pretend that he is. Butthead made a 9 minute film of sloppy camerawork and nauseating tracking of a mechanized elephant. No music, no story, no stability.
TIFFANY - Roommate. Likes country music, big watches and Superdry. Has the diet of a 6yr old and proud of it.
TIFFANY - Roommate. Likes country music, big watches and Superdry. Has the diet of a 6yr old and proud of it.
We had spent nearly every single day of the 2 month adventure with each other. I realized QUICKLY that I could handle people in small doses but I was handed a large dose. If there’s anything to take away from this experience, it’s that one must come well-equipped with a high tolerance for the annoying habits of others in order to survive. For your tolerance will be tested time and again. You have nowhere to hide when you spend every waking minute of every day and night with these people; some, more than others. You'll learn more than you want to about some folks. You'll form a bond with others over shared grievances/annoyances. It doesn't matter where you go; it could be the most Magical place - I would go so far as to saying it could be Heaven - if the people around you are walking rainclouds or perhaps a walking bag of annoying, your trip could be significantly spoiled if you allow it to be.
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