Rules of Halloween

Halloween is among us and our sugar levels are running a little higher than the doctor recommended. In the spirit of the holiday, we've decided to list some of the rules that we think should be implemented for the occasion.

For the Candy Givers:

• If anywhere on the packaging, it is marked, "healthy, fat free, or no sugar, " know that your, so called, "treat" WILL be traded for better candy (or best offer).
• If it's a coupon for a free cone at the DQ or a free hamburger at Mickey D's, the possibility of your house being egged &/or TP'd increases with every coupon given.
• Leaving a bowl on your porch with goodies is a great idea. Marking said bowl with a sign designating one piece of candy per child...that aint gonna happen.
• Box of raisins? Really??
• Candies/treats that make others aware that you purchased the candy less than an hour ago: smarties, good & plenty, jujubes, dots, candy corn, pennies, package of unpopped popcorn, apples & many more.
• It is an unwritten rule & common courtesy to shut off all signs of human life at your house if you do not intend on giving treats.
  
• After about the 5th house, the trick-or-treaters are sick of telling people who/what they are, hearing that they're cute &/or waiting for you to finish chit chatting with their parent. Just make a brief comment, drop the goods and they'll be on their way.

For the Trick-or-Treaters:

• No costume, no candy.
• Wearing normal attire with JUST an eye mask does not make it a costume.
• Say thank you or you will be viewed as an ungrateful little rugrat.
• When given the option to grab your own candy, rule-of-thumb, don't be the first. Let the others take first.
• Don't walk through the yards, that's what the inconveniently routed paths are for.
• The answer is 1. Age 1 is when you can claim that the candy is for your child and not for you. (keyword is CLAIM)
• If you had to hit more than 3 stores to complete your costume, you have put way too much thought into a 2hr outfit that you'll most likely never wear again. (This does not apply to parents. It's a competition to see which parent can create the most bitchin' costume for their kids.)