Why Winter is the Crappiest Season Of the Year
- You get fat - No matter what you do winter is cold. What does that mean… Well a few things. First, we sit inside on our couches in sweats and hoodies cuddled up in our favorite blanket trying to stay warm. Not to mention all of the great TV that is available in the winter. No movement needed or wanted for those activities. All of this means 10 lbs instantly because COLD=NO Exercise.
- Snow – Yeah Yeah you might say it is pretty but beneath that pretty white exterior there is white death. Case in Point. Snow hates my jeans. No matter what you do, the bottom of your jeans will be wet for the first hour of work. I hate that. Also everyone during the winter months knows that you don’t wash your jeans regularly because of the stupid salt line that sits on the bottom of your jeans. Finally, the white death means road rage. People go nuts. You know its coming when the weather men/women predict snow …slow traffic. That twenty minute commute is now 3 hours. Ugghhh
- Hats – Don’t get me wrong I LOVE HATS. But they are not conducive for work hair. So everyday of winter there is always that inner struggle. Do I keep my head warm on my walk from the car to work and have messy/frizzy hair all day long or Freeze my ears off and still have messy hair all day long. No one looks good with hat hair.
Sincerely,
Cold Ohio Resident
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C Bandit here - If I may, I would like to add to this post because, like K Bandit, I too want Old Man Winter committed - padded walls, straight-jacket, the whole shabang. I've accumulated my own list of Winter Unpleasantries: - Freezing Temps - I tend to find a way to stay inside when I know the weather is going to take a turn for the worst. Unfortunately, some people don't have that luxury, and moreover, some CARS don't have that luxury. So in my brief and unwelcoming stay in the mean streets of Chicago, I was too busy with school to look after my Cobalt and I had to leave her to fend for herself. During one of the many bone-chilling cold spells in the windy city, I let Cobalt sit to collect ice and snow - a decision I would later regret. Like a leech, the ice and snow had permanently attached itself to my car. BRIGHT IDEA? Turn on the defroster - it'll DEFROST that shit right off. Minutes later, it had loosened the ice but it also took it's toll and CRACKED my windshield beyond repair...thank you OMW...I owe you one.
***SIDE NOTE***
extreme cold + extreme defroster + tiny crack in glass = cracky cracky
- Ice - I don't mind the ice on the street as much as I mind the ice on my car. The ice on the street, for the most part, is taken care of. As for the ice on the car, it brings me back to my first point but for this bullet point, let's say the ice that doesn't crack the windshield. Not only do you have to find appropriate hand protection, but you have to have the right weapon for destroying the cold sheet or you're going to find yourself outside prepping your car for departure for a good 15-20 minutes. As a result, you'll either be that much later for work or you're going to have to plan and wake up early which NOBODY in their right minds would enjoy.
- Dry Skin - our poor poor skin...like the dried crackled ground of Death Valley, our skin is gritty enough to sand that bench you've been meaning to refinish. Not even cocoa butter can save it. You're just going to have to deal with the rough carpenter hands for the winter season.
- Gloom & Doom - A day without the sun is a day without the fun. There's something about gray and dreary days that unmotivates even the most motivated people. Only the strong persevere. I've got a mean case of the S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) - it's real and it's taken another victim. How anyone can think that a sea of white, disgusting, cold, wet blanket of despair can be pretty is beyond me.
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