Where are you taking me WOMAN!?!

So, I am not ashamed to say that, without technology, I would be lost.  Literally & figuratively.  Without a phone, what would I do in the awkward moments where I have to wait in line at the mall?  Would I have to just stand there? Patiently? F that!  Without a computer, how could I shop?  Would I have to PHYSICALLY drive to the mall and search with my eyes to purchase things?  And walk around on my own two legs?  How would I know the balance of my bank account?  Would I have to balance a checkbook with a pen and a...what are those things called...calculating thingy?  Without my Zune, I would have to listen to the same 12 songs on the radio or worse, I would have to listen to nothing!  Without TV, I would have to read or do something even more boring like play a board game!  And most importantly, without my GPS, I would get lost every single time I got into the car - driver or otherwise. 

There was a time, not long ago, when I relied on printed directions from Mapquest.  Pfffft...I know - ancient!  Not long before that, I relied on hand written directions given verbally.  Those were simpler times but I've upgraded to a Garmin - Sophie Garmin, that is.  If ever there was a person who needed turn-by-turn directions, it's me.  I get lost going almost every time I get into a car.  If I don't have SPECIFIC directions there's a 25% chance of me taking a wrong turn.

Lately I've been noticing how dependent I've become on Sophie.  Sophie could LITERALLY take me anywhere and I wouldn't notice because I trust that she knows where she's taking me.  I live very close to Canada too so don't be surprised if I come back from a trip to the grocery store 4 hours later with a hockey jersey on and I start saying "aboot".  While I'm driving with Sophie, I often find myself asking, "where the hell am I?!?" "I thought I was supposed to go South, aren't we going North right now?" Much to my dismay, she never answers me, she just directs me.  Believe it or not, I still take wrong turns even though Sophie tells me what to do.  I'm just waiting for her to say, "No no no.  What are you doing?  I didn't say turn yet ya dipshiyat!" But instead, she's polite about it and simply says, "recalculating."  

As trustworthy as those things can be, sometimes it can't find the street you're looking for.  For example, over the weekend, I had to find a Hotel in the middle of nowhere.  I had been there once but with someone directing me.  So I decided to type in the address and let Sophie get me to where I was going.  Well she wasn't having it.  I tried to type in Moxie Lane and it would come back with Mox Road.  Similar but not correct...now what?  I ended up doing the work for her and searched for a business nearby - and I typed that in.  What would have happened if I couldn't do that?  I don't have an atlas in my car.  I don't have GPS on my phone...I would be forced to stop off at a local gas station and ask for directions.  No more turn by turn, no more "ETA" at the bottom of the screen...what a frightening thought.  It's like losing your calculator on a simple addition test - you could do it but you've gotten so used to using the calculator that you second guess yourself.

Sophie, you are my eyes on the road.  I'm not sure how I survived without you but know that I don't want to find out.  If only there were a Garmin for real-life decisions...