Jersey Love

So...I'm dating a new guy and he's a sweetheart. He seems too good to be true. He's very emotional (I'm a magnet for those guys I swear) he tells me sweet things all the time, granted some of those highly emotional statements scare me a bit but I can deal and see where the relationship goes.

I just had to blog about this one thing that threw me for a loop. He asked me over to his place after a night out on the town with him and I reluctantly agreed--I am not that kind of girl I assure you so I don't need that kind of pressure in the beginning of a relationship. We get in the door and I assume he's just going to pounce on me, when in fact he tells me to close my eyes as he gets the surprise. One part of my brain thinks "Ooh maybe it's jewelry, roses, etc." and the other part says, "You don't know him that well, prepare to be on an episode of Nancy Grace." I clasp my hands nervously in front of me and do as instructed, closing my eyes tightly and praying to whatever god is up there for protection. He tells me to open them and I see a orange football/sports jersey presented in front of my with his name embroidered on the back. I say thank you and do the typical "Awwww" thing we girls do and try to figure out why he would assume I'd be so lonely that I would need a piece of sporting equiptment to keep me company when he is not with me.

After the surprise portion is over on this date, he walks me to my car and says goodnight. As I drive home I realize that the jersey is doused in his cologne. Ewww, I don't do the Pepe Le Peu cologne thing with men, it does not impress me. I manage to throw it in the back seat and kick on the air full blast. The next day it smelled my car up so badly I had to air it out and remove the poisonous sporting good from my car. I let the jersey get soaked in the rain for a while and then placed it on the back porch to air dry in the breeze.

Pepe Le Peu gained one strike against him that day, my car took days plural to recover. I will keep the boomerang followers posted on the next attack from the cologne bandit.

Peace and Fresh Air,
E Bandit